The chance of seeing a pregnant woman in the streets of Japan is much lower than in Singapore. However, the chance of seeing grandparents with their grandchildren without their parents on public transportation is much higher in Singapore.
This is my observation after staying in Japan for nearly five months.
Both countries share the common problem of a dominant elderly population coupled with a low birth rate. Surprisingly though, in the very same areas where they share similarities lies a certain degree of contrast.
The biggest difference is the role of women in raising their children, especially during the period of infancy.
Although the birth rate in Japan is lower than in Singapore, Japanese children are more fortunate. They share more of their mothers' time and personal care than children in Singapore.
In Singapore, women form an important part of the work force and account for almost 40 percent of the national labor force. Since they are provided with equal opportunities to excel in their careers, most women opt to remain in the work force even after marriage.
But this has adversely affected the traditional role of women.
When it comes to the childbearing issue, women in Singapore always have to struggle with fulfilling two demanding roles: that of a full-time mother and a successful career woman.
In most cases, Singaporean women choose to sacrifice the experience of being a full-time mother to continue with their career because it is hard to forgo the achievements accumulated through the years.
Instead, they rely heavily on the help of foreign maids and grandparents to raise their children. Consequently, the sight of foreign maids and/or grandparents going out with the grandchildren has become common in Singapore.
In Japan, I was told Japanese women always raise their children by themselves.
Without considering the reasons behind this difference, I admire Japanese mothers, who are able to enjoy and share more time with their children compared with Singapore's career women.
This arrangement inevitably also benefits the children, as proven by several studies that indicate mothers are still the best choice in child-rearing. Indeed, I have noticed Japanese children are more socially well mannered than those in Singapore.
While Japanese women and their young children enjoy a more steady and intimate relationship, Singaporean parents who depend on foreign maids to raise their children inevitably have some worries.
They not only worry their children may end up learning the maid's language before their mother tongue, but they also live in constant fear the maids may harm or abuse their children when they are not home. Sad and shocking incidents involving such cases have occasionally been reported in Singapore.
Though Singaporean women have suffered from the negative effects of being unable to engage in motherhood, after staying in Japan for nearly five months, I found the reasons why Japanese women become full-time mothers rather discomforting.
I have the impression the career path of Japanese women is more restricted. It seems Japanese women have slimmer chances of landing prestigious jobs compared with men, not to mention the salary discrepancy.
The majority of Japanese women end up settling for clerical posts or jobs for which they are overqualified. The incentives for women to remain in the work force after giving birth are totally depressing.
It is therefore understandable that Japanese women choose to leave their jobs after they are married or when they have children.
The higher cost of living in Japan has made hiring a local as nanny, as well as using day-care centers, prohibitive for Japanese women, so the decision to be a full-time mother is more logical.
In contrast, the fee for a relatively good day-care center is affordable to most Singaporean working mothers, especially after they receive government subsidies. Leaving children in day-care centers is consequently a popular option for mothers who choose to work.
In addition, although hiring a foreign maid to help raise their children is an option for Singaporean working women, the language barrier hinders most Japanese career women from doing so.
Moreover, in Japanese culture, it is rare and sometimes regarded as a social taboo to have a ``stranger'' living at home. This closed attitude again limits Japanese women's options of pursuing a career.
The Singaporean government has recently begun to ease the burden of couples with children in an effort to encourage a higher birth rate.
Tax rebates are granted for mothers who hire foreign maids, income tax rebates are offered to women who choose to have more than two children and incentives are given to couples who decide to live nearer to their parents with the idea that they will help raise their grandchildren. The latter policy works well for working mothers because it gives them the security of having the grandparents take care of their children. In Southeast Asian tradition, having the grandparents take care of their grandchildren is considered a blessed act.
While these policies may not directly result in more pregnant women along the streets of Singapore, at least they give women more child-rearing options as well as help shape women's own career paths.
Though Singaporean working women have to bear with the feeling they do not spend enough time with their children, they are not forced to abandon their careers just because they have children.
There is one thing I feel is lacking in Singapore, however.
Whenever I see an elderly citizen with a child in Japan, there is almost always a young couple following closely behind. Grandparents seldom need to accept the heavy responsibility of raising their grandchildren. In Japan, mothers hold the tiny hands instead of foreign maids or grandparents.
As a child, I would like to be raised in Japan; as a woman, I would like to work in Singapore.
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Full-time mother or full-time career woman?